Archive for November 2011

Inter-Breeding: Dwarf Series   1 comment

Inter-Breeding: Dwarf Series

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Posted November 5, 2011 by illyriadsunstorm in Web Comics

Can I Haz Some Spears? (as Told by Ryelle)   Leave a comment

[01:40]<Ryelle> Rexaki, there is a reason we don’t arm the newbs
[01:41]<Ryelle> and if you’re not careful, I’ll tell a story about an unfortunate dwarf
[01:41]<Ryelle> and some spiders

[01:49]<Ryelle> well, as you all know, when new players ask for spears, or leather armor or chain mail, I always say
[01:49]<Ryelle> Don’t arm the newbs!!!
[01:49]<Ryelle> you might think that’s because I’m mean
[01:49]<Ryelle> and don’t want the poor newbs to have any fun
[01:50]<Ryelle> but such is not the case
[01:50]<Ryelle> oh no
[01:50]<Ryelle> I say it because of a young dwarf I once knew
[01:50]<Ryelle> promising new player
[01:50]<Ryelle> intrepid
[01:50]<Ryelle> bold
[01:50]<Ryelle> adventurous
[01:50]<Angrim> foolhardy?
[01:50]<Ryelle> perhaps so Angrim
[01:51]<Ryelle> I do not judge
[01:51]<Ryelle> well, the young fellow came into global chat one day
[01:51]<Ryelle> I think he had around 100 population at the time
[01:51]*Angrim cringes.
[01:51]<Ryelle> and he said
[01:51]<Ryelle> plz send me spears 4 army
[01:51]<Ryelle> and the vets were generous
[01:51]<Ryelle> because we like new players in Illy!
[01:52]<Ryelle> the vets were generous and sent him some spears to make an army
[01:52]<Ryelle> this was when I myself was young
[01:52]<Ryelle> and not yet wise
[01:53]<Ryelle> yes, it was a long time ago
[01:53]*Dinsdale gives Ryelle an AARP card
[01:54]<Ryelle> and so the young dwarf made the stalwarts and he sent them into the field
[01:54]<Ryelle> into the plains, it was
[01:54]<Ryelle> to face the giant spiders
[01:54]<Ryelle> their commander went before them, flags flying
[01:54]<Ryelle> and there was much clash of arms
[01:55]<Ryelle> and then there was silence
[01:55]<Ryelle> and at last the villagers went into the field
[01:55]<Ryelle> to find what had happened
[01:55]<Ryelle> and there they found
[01:55]<Fediglio> ???
[01:55]<Dinsdale> ?
[01:55]<Artaxerxes> ??
[01:55]*Ryelle sobs
[01:55]<Rexaki> ????
[01:56]<Gilgamesh Wulfenbach> ????????????
[01:56]<Fediglio> pause for effect
[01:56]<Ryelle> it is too terrible to describe
[01:56]*Dinsdale hands Ryelle a tissue
[01:56]<Ryelle> because they did not find the army
[01:56]<GM Luna> I’m on the edge of my seat here.
[01:56]<GM Luna> lol
[01:56]<Rexaki> wait let me pop some popcorn
[01:56]<Ryelle> nor even a few survivors
[01:56]<Ryelle> indeed they did not even find part of an army
[01:56]<Ryelle> to be accurate they found …
[01:56]<Ryelle> PARTS of an army
[01:56]<Ryelle> there was not enough left to identify the bodies …
[01:57]<Dinsdale> eek!!
[01:57]<Ryelle> not even
[01:57]<Ryelle> an ear
[01:57]<Dinsdale> gasp
[01:57]<Ryelle> for dwarves identify their dead using earprints, you know
[01:57]<Ryelle> don’t ask me why
[01:57]<Ryelle> all dwarf ears look the same to me
[01:57]<Ryelle> but the brave young dwarf was undeterred
[01:57]<Ryelle> and he went back to the generous vets
[01:57]<Ryelle> and he asked
[01:57]<Ryelle> 4 mor spears plz
[01:58]<Ryelle> and what do you suppose the vets said?
[01:58]<Rexaki> sure
[01:58]<Ryelle> indeed, for the vets are kind and generous
[01:58]<Ryelle> if not always wise
[01:58]<CanesRule> spear me the details Rye
[01:58]<Fediglio> lol
[01:58]<Artaxerxes> lol -cane
[01:58]<Ryelle> the vets gave him some more spears
[01:59]<Ryelle> and he made another army
[01:59]<Ryelle> and then …
[01:59]<Ryelle> no one is sure why it happened
[01:59]<Dinsdale> ?
[01:59]<Dinsdale> what??
[01:59]<Artaxerxes> ?
[01:59]<Ryelle> some say that the spirits of the dead stalwarts were angry
[01:59]<Ryelle> others say the giant spiders took their revenge
[01:59]<Ryelle> others say that the young dwarf forgot that he needed gold to pay his army
[02:00]<Ryelle> at any rate, while he was sleeping, the young dwarf’s army
[02:00]<Ryelle> vanished
[02:00]<Dinsdale> no….???
[02:00]<Ryelle> completely gone
[02:00]<Ryelle> not a trace
[02:00]<Dinsdale> ack!
[02:00]<Ryelle> only one thing
[02:00]<Ryelle> was left
[02:00]<Ryelle> the only thing they left was a note
[02:00]<Phoeni470> What was on it, Ryelle?
[02:00]<Dinsdale> a note?
[02:00]<Ryelle> gn 2 snw white 4 suppr, bbl
[02:01]<Ryelle> that was all
[02:01]<Dinsdale> eep
[02:01]<Ryelle> but the young dwarf was not discouraged
[02:01]<Ryelle> he went again to the generous vets
[02:01]<Ryelle> and asked again for spears
[02:01]<Ryelle> and what do you suppose the vets said?
[02:01]<Aurordan> Please say you laughed this time
[02:02]<Ryelle> the vets are kind and generous and somewhat slow learners
[02:02]<Ryelle> but they come to wisdom eventually
[02:02]<Ryelle> so they said
[02:02]<Ryelle> NO!!!
[02:02]<Dinsdale> wow!
[02:02]<Ryelle> they said no to the young dwarf
[02:02]<Ryelle> and advised him to build a spearmaker
[02:02]<Dinsdale> ah…
[02:03]<Phoeni470> What is the moral of the story, Ryelle?
[02:03]<Ryelle> and if he had heeded their words, I might not be telling you this story
[02:03]<Ryelle> but in fact he did not
[02:03]<Ryelle> he became very angry with the vets
[02:03]<Ryelle> and he declared that he would SHOW THEM!!!!
[02:03]<CanesRule> The moral of the story is “Ask vets for spears and you will get the shaft”
[02:03]<Ryelle> and so he marched off onto the plains by himself
[02:03]<Ryelle> to confront the spiders
[02:04]<Dinsdale> oh no…
[02:04]<Sulla2> canes, big lol
[02:04]<Artaxerxes> lol canes
[02:04]<Ryelle> and there was a great cry
[02:04]<Dinsdale> eek!
[02:04]<Ryelle> and then there was silence
[02:04]<Ryelle> and when his villagers went to the field to find out what happened
[02:04]<Ryelle> they found …
[02:04]<Dinsdale> ?
[02:04]<Ryelle> nothing
[02:04]<Dinsdale> ?
[02:04]<Ryelle> not even …
[02:04]<Ryelle> an ear
[02:04]<Dinsdale> OMG
[02:05]<Ryelle> and so the moral of the story is, my friends
[02:05]*Dinsdale hugs his teddy
[02:05]<Ryelle> do not try to make an army
[02:05]<Ryelle> unless you can first make a spear
[02:05]<Dinsdale> bravo!!!
[02:05]<Saint4> interesting story ryelle
[02:05]<GM Luna> *claps* @Ryelle
[02:05]<Dinsdale> well played!!
[02:05]<FancyPants> /applauds
[02:05]<Artaxerxes> thanks ryelle
[02:05]<Susan Calvin> Spooky
[02:05]<Dinsdale> CLAPS
[02:05]<Ryelle> welcome to all new players!
[02:05]*Phoeni470 applauds Ryelle and gives her a snuggle

This (above) is the condensed version.

For the full version, visit this link:
http://forum.illyriad.co.uk/topic2725_post32881.html#32881

Posted November 2, 2011 by illyriadsunstorm in Stories / Chat